Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My penis needs a shock collar
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Randomize
