i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
