I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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