Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
