Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
