i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize