Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
