i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The air was thick with penises
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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