Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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