Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
