omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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