I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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