Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
