It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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