Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
