i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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