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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It's Friday. Sex?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize