my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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