im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
