Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Sorry about my life...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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