Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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