I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
