HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
