my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
