Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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