Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
