I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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