i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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