Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
