we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
