Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
