i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
