She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That accounts for only three of the penises
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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