She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
