My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
