At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
