People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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