i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize