Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
