why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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