have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
