dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
