i already hear my dad disowning me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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