we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
