Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
