Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
