Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize