one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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