the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
