apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
