Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
