I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
