just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
