I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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