your room smells of hookers.
And success
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
