I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
