what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
