Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
