I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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