fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
