Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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