I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
