You made me cry and you don't even care
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
