you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
